I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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