Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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