Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
