check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
