lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
