If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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