Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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