??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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