i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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