eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
