Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
