So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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