I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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