I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
