I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
