Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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