I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
the raccoons are back...
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