Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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