Yo dont text me then not text me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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