Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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