someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
