wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
