How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
