I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
