i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
