your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
