Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
