last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
