The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the day after is always just damage control
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
