my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
