Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
where am i from again
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
