I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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