Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
