Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
