there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
