We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have fence marks all over my body
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
