theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
