I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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