it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
