sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
