Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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