she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
