...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
