bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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