Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
