he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
