I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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