it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
