Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
