Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
