Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
