At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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