And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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